What an abandonment wound generally looks like:
It creates a series of limiting beliefs that are hardwired in the neurobiological pathway and play out in real-time through actions, decisions, words, thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Deep within the psyche is an inner child that believes & feels: “I’m not loveable. I’m not wanted. I’m not worthy. No one sees or hears me”. It believes you have to self abandon, putting others needs before your own, to make another love, see, hear, and want you. It deeply wants to be chosen and will try to achieve it at any cost. Manipulation, control and narcissistic behaviour, being an example
It forms underlays of deep rejection and issues around low self worth. It creates an anxious attachment style and super hypervigilance to mitigate and prevent any possibility of losing connection. It is common that the individual will form trauma bonding with others and project their wounding onto others. “You don’t love me, you don’t care about me”. This energetically forces people to leave, which reaffirms back to the inner child that he/she is not wanted or loved. It’s common that this person will attract in emotionally unavailable people. Essentially, it is a mirror into the subconscious lens.
It forms a fear of being alone and left out, which shows up in the lack of boundaries with self and with others. This is known as enmeshment, blurred boundaries, and a fawn response in the nervous system. It will say yes to everything, even if they feel no. Intuition and gut knowings are ignored; ego is control and the deep seated wounding is in the driving seat. The gut is so badly damaged from being in a dominant state of survival, resulting usually in irregular eating patterns (e.g. obesity, yoyoing, bulimia) and weight issues, poor digestion and bowel issues (IBS, constipation, Crohns), chronic inflammation. It doesn’t feel safe in the body; it’s safer and easier to dissociate and disembody
It hardwires a body and nervous system to live in chronic survival mode, which ripples into various behavioural patterns, self protection mechanisms and coping tools. For instance, over-giving and over-pleasing to feel wanted and seen; over-sharing and over-talking to feel heard; being silent and withholding self expression in fear of triggering or offending others, losing people and also to avoid conflict; and, overachieving to feel worthy e.g. through education, career, income, external stimulus like fancy cars and home.
Does this all sound familiar? Do you have an abandonment wound unconsciously dictating your life? Do you know it can all be healed?
I promise you it can. I too had the same wound, and I have healed it.
It can be rewired through psychosomatics, through meeting the inner child and allowing them to be fully heard and seen, through re-parenting yourself, through dropping into the body and feeling old emotions stuck in the neural pathway. Through psychosomatic work, regulating the nervous system and balancing out the masculine-feminine internal energy system, you can create new hardwiring with updated beliefs and behaviours that match a much more higher version of yourself.